Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Renting Movies Until Infitinity

I'll be spending a lot of time around kids this summer at work, but right now I have very little contact with any. My friend's daughter is seven, looks maybe four, and is as smart in many ways as 40 and in most ways as 10. She played me some really adorable piano music, and sang as she played. But then, she got really tired, really fast, and yelled and cried during dinner. I don't know if my emotions could be that intense ever again. She started off explaining that she always loved her mother even when they fought and that she would always love her mother more than I could. By the end of dinner, she asked if we wanted her to cut off her hand because people keep holding it. She cried because her mother wanted her to eat dinner. Then, she said she was tired of seeing her mother's face. My most intense emotions lately happened watching Margret Cho's Revolution DVD. It was a pretty quick switch from laughing to crying.

I've become a person who cries. I never liked them, they always seemed to think the fact they cried made their pain more real. Now, I keep crying for t.v. shows and bad dreams, but I can't cry for any of the things that are actually hurting me.

I predict I will spend the rest of my life renting movies.


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